Blog 41 – The Human Jolt (Awkward Sidesteps in Public)

I haven’t posted in a while. Which is good news for society because that usually means that nothing is annoying me enough to sit down write about it.

Anyway, today I experienced the human jolt. You heard… The human jolt… – That sidestep thingy we’re forced to do in public.

You know… When two people are walking in opposite directions to each other and you try to judge the other person’s movement and steps to see which side of the narrow pavement they are going to walk on. In movies, It’s a great scene, sure… Some would say it’s ‘cute’, even. But real life tells a whole different story. Believe me…

Before you know it, You’re already doing that retarded multiple sidestep trying to make way/get through or end up having to come to a rapid halt…. Basically, shit gets messy. It’s annoying as fuck. It happens to me every single day, I swear.

I have a what, 50% chance success rate of getting through without looking silly? But no, life likes to play a game with us called “fuck logic”, because what the hell, we can’t do everything right, eh?

I’m, sure you guys know what I’m on-about.

But I find it particularly annoying when I’m getting late or I’ve got to be somewhere. That ain’t funny. You be wastin’ my time, man. I ain’t got time to make that fake smile nor that fake laugh. You’re in my way. I was in yours a second ago. Shift along, let’s not make this more awkward than it already is, okay?

I reckon there should be like a pedestrian codes of conduct or amendment or whatever you call it where we can wave our arms around or something and indicate (just like a car), to alert others where the hell we’re about to walk, minus looking like a fool…

Wait, what?

Ah, whatever.

By the end of the awkward sidestepping interaction, I just feel like…

Don’t let this happen again, biatch.

Peace,

Syd

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