Rants, Funny & Other Articles

Article 62 – How to Lose Weight in Three Easy Steps

100% real weight loss solution
100% real weight loss solution

In an age largely reliant on the internet, there has been a massive change to people’s lifestyles in the last 15 years or so. That being said, We have generally seen an increasingly overweight human race… from what I hear that is (What do I know? I’m only 20). It’s not like I knew much when I was five, right? (Actually, I have heard I was a pretty smart kid but that is besides the point)…

Don’t worry, this isn’t an article that bashes the Internet and tells you to eat your vitamins, say your prayers and run around in the park for six hours. Instead I am focusing on something a lot more specific.

Note: This is my first proper article in a long time. So cut me some slack, let’s see where it takes us. (Oh, and the steps are at the end of this article).

Firstly, let me talk about Internet adverts before we get onto the three vital steps.

I have been around a fair share on the Internet and I don’t think ANYONE is immune to getting away with somehow not encountering adverts. They’re EVERYWHERE. For example: YouTube now has a mandatory ad playing at the beginning of many videos. As much as a pisstake that it is, There is some sort of inevitability about the internet about ads. People use the Internet, People believe the Internet, People live the Internet. Businesses see it profitable to advertise here. Simple really…

Hell, you may even see ads at the bottom of this page. (Maybe, I’m not sure)

Back to losing weight.

I’ve seen a certain type of advert around the web, not necessarily a legitimate advert but most likely a scam or fake article. However, it makes me wonder why people even create them.

I’m talking about the “Magical Weight Loss Pill” advert, the “Wonder diet” or the typical “Groundbreaking Discovery for Weight Loss” ads. I have seen so many of these around the web, it’s unreal.

Doughnut (do not) get me wrong, I’m not saying certain pills don’t work (or do work, for that matter), I just believe that there may be some people who bite (buy) into this facade. I know you gotta be pretty stupid to do so but we aren’t all of the same intellect, age, mental stability, etc.

See, I have this theory… For these ads to be massively widespread around the Internet, they must be garnering a decent amount of traffic; thus making it somewhat successful, otherwise let’s face it, we wouldn’t see them around so much. The people who create these ads (more so if it is dribble) only create them because it may attract attention and have people reading further into them.

Here is a screenshot of an article I was reading… Surprise surprise, check out the circled subjects.

screen shot ads




Four out of a possible eight ads are regarding weight loss. It is sad that these things are in so much demand and have been so for the past few years. That’s 50%. Fifty darn percent.

There are far worse things happening around the world, I know. But I felt this was something that needed to be addressed.

ANYWAY, on to how to lose weight in three easy steps…

Pay close attention.

Step 1) The first way how to lose weight would be by NOT clicking these bullshit ads. Losin’ weight? You ain’t losing shit by a miraculous scientific pill that you somehow ‘stumbled’ upon apart from your time and if you’re really special, your money too.

Step 2) The second way how to lose weight is by NOT reading articles about how to lose weight on the Internet. They could be talking (Belgian) waffle.

Step 3) The third definitive way to lose weight is by sharing this article. Trust me it works. *Results may vary*. *Terms & Conditions apply*.

How to lose weight in three easy steps.

Piece, (of cake)


Note: From now on, I will name each piece of writing “Article” rather than “blog”. E.g. The next one is ‘Article 63’, not ‘Blog 63’.

14 thoughts on “Article 62 – How to Lose Weight in Three Easy Steps”

  1. What a great post! I just followed you to stay updated on your future posts and I look forward to them. I recently started my own personal blog, so feel free to check out my profile where you’ll find my blog and social media sites.

    Have a great day 😀


  2. Excellent “article” and great plan, people should really give less attention (or no attention at all) to those “magic” pills/recipes, ads and bad marketing.
    Thank you for sharing your insights, great writing 🙂


  3. This was quite an interesting read about losing weight. xD I usually stay away from those ads but I never expected to see such a high percentage of it. Thanks for sharing your insights!!


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